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2007-09-11

And t his is a my story.   Alltyedup4u@gmail. com

I was 15, and shy, painfully shy.   I didn’t wear make up, I didn’t date, I wasn’t a cool girl at school, I was overlooked and friendless.   What I did do was raise Suffolk sheep for 4-H.   I would show them each year at the county fair.   I would train, I could hold my lamb, place his feet, groom him, show him off to his best advantage to win the grand prize ribbon.   My dark blond hair would be pulled back and I wore a white tee shirt, white shorts and white sneakers, and that was the uniform of 4-H’rs competing for that grand prize.   What was also sought after was your parents allowing you to set up a cot next to your sheep’s stall the night before the competition so that you could sleep over in the huge sheep barn on the fair grounds.  I got to do that, finally.   Mom and dad left me with money for dinner and the Carney attractions and left.   I walked the fair grounds alone.   I wasn’t ugly, I wasn’t beautiful, I was slender, but short, and still am, just 5’3, and at the time 96 lbs and my breasts, that had bloomed late, starting when I was almost 14, were at a 34 c and my bra was getting a bit tight as they were still growing towards adulthood.   I could have used a bigger size, but I wasn’t clothes conscious, or boy conscious enough to care.

My green eyes are my best feature, they are large and thick lashed and so much like my mom’s and she was always complimented on hers.   That day or freedom I walked though the fair grounds, past candidates hawking themselves and window salesmen hawking their windows and health groups hawking good health, next to Carnies hawking deep fried corn dogs.

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    I saw him there.   I bought my dinner from him.   He didn’t pay any attention to me, nor I to him really, I only remember him now because later in the fair week I would see him there watching me and smiling, warning me, enjoying my discomfort, I would later see him shadow the barn and talk with his friends and they’d laugh as I tried to cover the bruises on my thighs by pulling at my shorts, and he would lick his lips and smile.

The day I bought my dinner from him he didn’t look at me and I never looked at him.

That night was different.   When the fair closed after midnight we were all in the barn for the night.   I lay on my cot.   A few rent-a-cops patrolled the grounds.   Too few.   And the carnies, who had trailers and a camping area could be heard on the other end of the fairgrounds, laughter, some music, sometimes a yell or a fight, like listening to adults on a camping trip.   I drifted off.   Maybe at 2 am I woke.   I had to pee.   I slipped on my flip flops and walked out of the barn to the row of port-a-lets outside about 25 feet from the barn.   I was tired and hated the stinky portas, but held my breath and went.

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    When I came out I breathed again and yawned and was about to walk back when a big hand covered my mouth and another grabbed me around waist and lifted me.   I kicked and tried the scream into the big hand and tried to put my hands up to pull the arm away when the man carrying me told be to stop moving or he’d break my neck and he yanked my head back hard and it hurt enough for me to believe he would so I did what he told me too.   He walked with me, carrying me against his fat stomach and broad chest and I could hear him breathing hard as he made his way to wherever we were going.   His breath smelled horrible, he was drunk, and smelled like sweat and beer.   He took me to a silver camper hitched to a Chevy truck and kicked the door a couple of times and it was opened, by an older man, who drew back in surprise as the man carried me inside.   He locked the door behind us.   The man set me on my feet and he held my head and reached his hand towards his friend.   “Gimme my knife. ”

“Shit man, Shit. ” Said the older guy, who was maybe 60.   A raw boned guy with a scruffy beard and missing teeth.   But the man handed his fat friend the knife and the man held it to my throat.

“Listen to me bitch.   If you make a sound I’ll kill you. ”  He growled.

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    “You are gonna do whatever I say and if you do I will let you live, but I’ve fuckin’ been to jail for this shit before and I ain’t going back, I WILL KILL YOU. ”

I was wild eyed but I nodded.   He let go of my mouth and I stood there and he moved around to where I could see him in the dim light of the trailer.   His friend sat at their filthy table and watched, distressed.

“Boy, why you go do this shit,” he muttered low.   “I can’t be getting in more trouble, you can’t. ”

“I don’t fucking know,” said my captor eyeing me as I stood there.   “I got done takin’ a piss and heard her and when she walked out I just did.   I fucking felt like some pussy and there she was. ”

I started to groan with fear and he raised the knife and pointed it at me. “I said Shut the Fuck Up!”  I bit my lip.

“Take off your clothes” he ordered.

I shook my head and he raised a fist and I started doing what he wanted fast.   When I stood naked in their trailer I looked pleadingly at the old man but he turned away from me, drinking his beer in silence.

I looked back at the man who had abducted me and he was rubbing his crotch and smiling.

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    He was wearing jogging pants and a dirty shirt and it barely covered his belly.   His hair was long and thing and dirty and he was about as old as my dad.   He had hairy arms all the way to his shoulders and he was way taller then the room and had to bend a bit to keep his head off the ceiling.

“Git on your knees. ”

He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer and pushed me too the ground by my shoulder.   I started to cry.   He pulled the front of his pants down and grabbed my hair and pulled it towards his stinky, sweaty crotch.

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“Suck it bitch. ” He growled.   He smacked the back of my head with his hand and I trembled as I lifted my hand and closed it around the first penis I had ever seen.   I had been raised catholic and had no brothers and literally had only seen a penis in drawings in a doctor’s office waiting room in a brochure.   It was thick, I couldn’t get my hand around it, and it twitched and felt hot and it smelled bad, like the portalet and he wanted me to put it in my mouth.   I gagged as I tried.   It was rubbery and sticky goo came from the hole on it’s head and I started sobbing.

“Shit man, just get her out of here now.

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  ” The old man said and I wanted to run to him for protection but the drunk told him to shut up again and he did, going back to his bottle.

He grabbed the back of my head and forced his cock into my mouth and I was shocked by how far it stretched my mouth open.   He moved my head back and forth as my hands were splayed on his stomach and thigh trying to push away.

“Use your tongue bitch, suck it good, yeah…yeah…yeah bitch, he groaned low as his hips moved against my face.   I couldn’t breathe and tears streamed down my face as he moved.

He got huge in my mouth but then he pushed me backwards and I gasped for air.

“Shut up cunt. ” He said as he grabbed my hair and I yelped.   He threw me on the bed.   It was a filthy mattress, stained and hard and I lay sideways on it and he pushed me back on it his hand in my belly, holding me down as he leaned over me.   He grabbed my tits and squeezed them so hard I wanted to scream but he whispered, “Shut up, no noise, I mean it, I’ll kill you, shut up and take it slut. !”  I lay there as he pinched and mashed and bit my tits, I gasped and sobbed and looked to the other man who watched but did nothing.

I thought he was trying to tear off my tits, he slobbered on them and he kissed me, my mouth covered in his spit, my neck, my sore nipples, he moved his large hand down my belly, bruising it too, when he reached between my legs I yelled “No!” and he punched me deep in my tender belly and I almost threw up, and he grabbed my neck.

“What the fuck did I tell you bitch?  Huh?  You want to die?”  I shook my head, and he punched my stomach again and I lost my breath.   “Answer me…do you want me to kill you?  Cuz I will and I’ll still fucking rape you but I’ll kill you too!”  I shook my head harder and whispered “no”.

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   and he moved his hand back to my pussy and said “God, I want you, I want to rape you so bad, I want my cock in the tight little cunt so bad. ” And he pushed a couple fingers in me and I gasped and struggled but he fucked me with those fingers harder.   In and out.   Nothing had ever been inside me, I never even used tampons because mom said they were for married women.   My legs opened and I felt horrible for the wetness dripping down my butt crack as he continued using me.   “Fucking slut you want this don’t you…yeah…yeah…you want a big guy to rape you like this…you want it hard…I got it for you hard bitch…I’m gonna tear you up little girl, gonna make you a slut.   Maybe make you a mommy…you want a rape baby bitch?”  He laughed and his fingers pulled out of me and he moved his cock until it pressed at my hole.   He put his hand over my mouth and I knew what was going to happen and knew that it was going to be more then my promise not to scream would take, and he didn’t let me catch a breath, he shoved his huge, thick cock inside me in one punishing thrust, which pushed me across the bed and lifted me, My back arched and I screamed and screamed and screamed in his hand as he raped me, pounding my tiny pussy in and out like a jack hammer, long strokes that impaled me and made me lose my breath when they reached my lungs and stopped with a punch.   He groaned and moaned as he leaned over me like a bull, sweaty and smelly and relentless.   I was choking under his hand but my screaming had stopped, I couldn’t scream, I was drenched in sweat like I had come out of the rain and my legs were wide as he opened me up.   I could feel the blood I would find there later, leaking from me and he was calling me a whore and slut and groaning the word “yes” as he abused me, raped me, changed me.   My head rolled back and forth and I was in agony, and breathing shallowly, panting, moaning and feeling everything.   It was like being in a trance…waves of pain, feelings of disgust, and my legs opening wider as he raped me harder.   My hips moved under him, against him, letting him hurt me harder and deeper, I was moving with him and he grunted happily  I didn’t fight, I let the pain wash through me and I moaned and panted.   “Yes baby,” he groaned, “yes…yeah baby…yeah slut…fucking rape slut…yeah…yeah.

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  . yeah…ride it baby…you are good…you are made for this…you like it, you do…yeah…yeah. ”  He complimented me, he was complimenting me as he raped me and I was humiliated and grateful, he was disgusting but my body, my pain, my cries, my reactions made him happy. And I took what he was doing to me, even as I sobbed and hated myself.

  My cunt grabbed him, spasming, over and over, I was shuddering and panicked, I didn’t know what an orgasm was, I thought I was having a seizure.   Finally he exploded in me, I could feel his dick burst glob after glob of cum deep inside my aching, raped pussy.   I was weak as a kitten and shaking like a leaf, used and humiliated and scared of all that it was making me feel.  

He let himself grow soft in me, kneading my nipples, rubbing my belly, telling me I was a good bitch, that I did good and was a good fuck, the best he’d had.   He smiled at me and I closed my eyes and leaned my head back and cried.   He got up and wiped my juices and blood off his cock with the bed sheet and I lay there and closed my legs and curled up on the bed and sobbed.   After a minute or two I opened my eyes and saw him sitting at the table with the old man.   Finally the old man got up and walked towards me and I tried to sit up…it hurt but I tried to sit up.   I was going to leave finally.   The old guy took my outstretched hand had flipped me onto my belly, I cried out in despair.   I heard his pants unzip and heard him spit as hot spit hit my ass and he was rubbing my asshole and I tied to get up but he held me down and forced my face down into the bedding.

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    My ass burned as he entered me, the pressure of him forcing his dick in my virgin ass, the pain was excruciating and I screamed anew into the mattress, helpless.   I could hear my first rapist encouraging his friend.   “Yeah…yeah…that’s what she needs…yeah…fuck her in the ass…yeah…feels good huh?”  And the old guy never said a word but he groaned appreciatively.   Spitting on me, on my ass as he worked his way deeper and deeper inside me.   I dug my fingers into the mattress and screamed and sobbed, not making a sound that could alert a rescuer, afraid I would die, and afraid someone would stop the old man’s attack at the same humiliating time, taking the old man deep inside me the way I took the first man, moving my ass backwards into his assault.   Both were using me, hurting me, appreciating me, enjoying me, not ignoring me, raping me.   Before he came he pulled out of my ass and shoved his cock, up to the hilt, inside my pain filled pussy and filled me with his cum.   I could feel gooey cum running down the back of my legs.   The man’s cock twitched in me and he gently rubbed my back and reached around to give my tits, my swollen, sore tits a few squeezes and pinches, then he, reluctantly pulled out and threw me a towel.

“Clean up girl…git dressed. ”

I did as he said.   His friend fell asleep at the table and the old guy took me by the arm and lit a cigarette and picked up the knife and walked me out the door.   He escorted me silently until we reached the toilets, then he pushed me into one of the stalls and put the knife to my neck and while the other guy was dangerous because he was drunk and angry this old man just looked at me and said.

“I been to jail three times for rape. And that ain’t how many times I done it, I did a lot more.

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    I ain’t going back.   I did you cuz you were there and the harm had already been done, so I took a turn, that ain’t an apology, you were a great fuck, but you ain’t worth another stretch and I should kill ya, shove you down the toilet hole. ”  I sobbed,  shaking anew.

“But I ain’t”  He smiled and warned me.   “You weren’t a tease or a drunk ass slut, you were just a kid going pee in the middle of the night, so I’m gonna let you live.   You ain’t gonna tell.   No one.   If you do, I got other friends like him and I’ll make sure they find you and finish you.   Understand me?”

I nodded numbly.

And he left.   And after collecting myself, so did I.   I went back to my cot, It was about 4 am, or almost, and I had to wake in 2 hours.   I could barely breathe, and couldn’t sleep, and my body ached and I felt every throbbing ache and when I moved I would catch a sob and gasp.   I had been raped and I never would tell and during that fair week I would see him, the old man, and he would nod to me and smile, and I would shiver and could feel my cunt and ass contract painfully and the ache in my bruised stomach  knot up, and I think he enjoyed that.   I think he liked me, I think he wanted me, I think they both did, they wanted to hurt me, wanted me to feel fear, and pain and their cum inside me.

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   And I was terrified by the feeling that I wanted to feel that again too, I was as much afraid of wanting to be raped as I was of the pain and the uncertainty that I would live through it again.   And that’s where things stand now, 7 yrs later.
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