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2004-01-09

You see, I was definitely in awe of Jenny. She was a Junior, a year ahead of me, and was absolutely the most desired girl on campus. Finding myself in the same class with her had been amazing and though it gave me more chances to watch her in the first week than I'd had in over the previous year, I was careful not to stare. But I suffered from none of that restriction in my fantasies, when I lay down at night. Her long blond hair, her smile, her slender but generous figure, her laugh, her voice. . . "Jon! Just who I wanted to see," she said, startling me to no end. Before that day she'd said exactly three words to me. I realized it was only natural we should converse, being the only two there and I hoped I wouldn't freeze up as usual. I looked up to find her looking at me expectantly, if not smiling, looking pleased. When I said nothing, she immediately came over and sat next to me. Close. Or at least it felt close to me at that moment though probably no closer than Brenda usually sat. "This test," she said. "Would you be willing to review some of the stuff with me?" I struggled to find my voice.

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   "Sure," I finally said. For a brief moment it looked to me like she could see every bit of my internal struggle, but that vanished and she said, "Oh, thanks, this'll save my life! Uh, when are you free?" I felt the impulse to freeze again, but made myself think. The test was in two days. I didn't want to sound like I had absolutely nothing going on in my life. "After supper tonight?" she asked. I'd missed my window. "OK," I said. She laughed briefly and once again there was a touch of the sense that she knew my thoughts, but somehow it soon seemed only a friendly gesture. "Good, there's a lounge on my floor that's usually empty--no, I have it, it'll be pleasant, you know those picnic tables over by the pond?" "Sure," I said, feeling a small victory at getting the word out without a tell-tale stumble. With that, the classroom door opened, students spilling out in conversation. "Thanks," she said over the voices, standing, and I stood with her. The issue of whether to change my seat took hold of my mind and I was actually relieved when some of our classmates showed up and it seemed perfectly natural to take my usual seat. That was certainly the most charged I felt in class, that day. Brenda gave me a smile when she showed up right before class was to begin. As usual Jenny never glanced at me but she did give me a smile as we were leaving.

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   I remember back at the dorm, considering whether to tell Tom. The whole hall would then know of it by evening and I'd be hearing about it. I could easily imagine it, the humorous advice, the cracks when I returned. I knew there was a good chance it would get around after the fact but decided that would be better than my having mentioned it, particularly if Jenny didn't show for whatever reason. But she was there, sitting on top of the picnic table, seeming to enjoy the late afternoon sun. The way she grinned when she saw me made me almost float away. "I can't believe you're willing to study with me," she said and I privately wondered whether she knew how easy it would be for her to get anyone to study with her. She had to know. But after that she was all business and if she weren't destined to be an english major, she certainly showed a desire to do well on the test. Going through the material, I realized I was getting a decent review of the basics which couldn't hurt me. I quizzed her on her opinion of some of the stories figuring giving a little thought to such things would help her with any essay questions. And I found myself impressed by some of her thoughts, which revised my impression of her quite a bit, all to the good, I might add. I still remember the thought hitting me that this had to be one of the most exciting moments of my college so far and I realized I wanted the study session to last forever. The way she looked, so serious, so respectful of my knowledge, so obviously thankful to me and happy we were doing this. But eventually sunset approached and the low light made reading impractical.

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   Somehow we transitioned into simply talking about some of the stories, giving us each the opportunity to expand a bit on our interpretations. Finally there was a silence. I'd said something, I don't recall what and she seemed to simply contemplate the implications. It gave me time to think about the fact that she had interesting thoughts about the stories and I wondered whether she might pursue the field a bit further than a couple of courses or whatever she was doing. "This has been lovely," she said finally. "You don't know how much this is going to help me. " "I can use the review," I said, instantly wondering whether that was the right way to put it. Did it come off as superior? "Well, thank you," she said, but made not the slightest move and we sat in silence for more seconds. It was about to end and I knew that fact well enough. "Listen," she said finally, "this. . . " She definitely had my attention. I actually detected a touch of reluctance in her voice, or shyness. "This might seem a bit forward, but do you mind if I ask you something personal?" I sat there, my heart beating.

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   "Sure," I managed to say. "You live on the same hall as Phil Evers," she said, then I heard her take a deep breath. "Do you think he's--at all interested in me?" I felt myself return to reality. And marveled briefly at the fact that Jenny Michaels was in the position of being interested in a guy who didn't seem to be showing interest in her! But Phil would definitely be the guy. A senior on the track team, he seemed to show no particular interest toward any girl yet always had dates.

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It seemed he'd been dating every one of cream of the crop and I was a bit surprised that Jenny seemed to imply that she wasn't among them. Or had she dated him briefly? "If he isn't, he's crazy," I said, half to myself. She grinned. "That's sweet," she said, but then looked serious again. "He doesn't--he hasn't said anything about me?" To give her a sincere answer, I tried to recall but could come up with nothing. And then feeling curious, wondered how far I ought to probe. "It's silly," she finally said, "but the truth is, I think about him way too much. God I wish he'd ask me out. But you must know what I mean. " She grinned when she said that and I felt a slight panic that she had me pegged as a guy who dreams about women.

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   Did that mean she figured I dreamed about her? "I fell like your Brenda," she went on. "I swear she's almost steeled herself to asking you out. She's the only one in the whole dorm who can't accept you for who you are. " I felt my heart sink. She claimed the whole dorm had me peg me as undatably shy? Or something like that? I'd always assumed that the vast majority of girls hadn't even heard of me, and somehow this seemed worse. Like confirming my worst fear that they all saw through me. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask you this," she went on, "but do you get attracted to someone like Phil too?" I think it took a moment for the words to sink in. "What?" I said. "I mean, you know he's straight, but I don't see how you can help it," she said. I grasped what she was thinking. I felt a lump in my throat. "Phil?" I said, rather dumbly. "He's a devil," she said, obviously grinning in a way that suggested that was a good thing. I thought about it. What should I do? "Do you think I'm gay?" I finally managed to ask.

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   She laughed. "I told you the whole dorm knows it except Brenda won't be convinced," she said. "Or maybe she thinks she can turn you, I don't know. " I took a deep breath. "I'm not gay," I said. The thoughts of how much depended upon this conversation hit me. The whole dorm? "Oh it's no big deal," she said, "I told you everyone knows and they don't care. What's it to them?" "But I'm not!" She laughed. "Are you in denial?" "But I'm not! I'd know it, wouldn't I?" She seemed to look at me consideringly. I realized a lot was riding on this conversation, that above and beyond my dreams of this woman, that it would seem to be important to get one credible voice in the girl's dorm to know the truth. If what she said was true. Finally she spoke. "You know, you are cute," she said. I considered whether I was making progress, but Jenny Michaels calling you cute has to be a distraction and I felt myself smile. "Listen," she finally added, "let's go for a walk.

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  " I found myself walking beside Jenny Michaels and I have to admit I wondered at the idea that we might be seen. We walked off campus into town and I found myself following her lead. We passed lit windows in houses, walking the town sidewalks and I soon wondered where she was taking me. But I didn't have long to wonder because she took me up to the front door of a large older home. "Who lives here?" I asked, my practical side recovering. "Bret?" she said, obviously seeing if she could get someone's attention. The front door was open, only a screen door between us and the interior. Jenny didn't wait and opened it, motioning me to follow. It was an older house, lots of woodwork, in pretty good shape too. We walked into the middle of a front hall, then met a guy apparently coming to Jenny's earlier call. "Bret," said Jenny, smiling. "This is Jon. " The guy said nothing, didn't smile, but gave me a glance, then looked at Jenny as if for more explanation. "We've been studying," said Jenny. "Hello, Jon," said Bret, at last, in a sort of deliberate way as if he still didn't know why we were there but was humoring Jenny.

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   "Come here," she said to me, then took my hand. She led me up the stairs. Bret followed. She took me into a bedroom, a lamp was on at a desk in the corner and a radio was playing softly. She found the radio and turned it off. Then turning to me, she started unbuttoning her blouse. I wasn't sure what was up. She smiled at me as she did so and when she had it unbuttoned, she undid her bra so it just hung. Then coming closer, she took my arm. "Come here," she said softly, then took my hand and led me across the room. Bret sat, in a chair pulled out from the desk. "Watch," she said to me. She pushed the blouse off her arms, then pushed off the bra, now naked above her waist. I stared. She was absolutely as beautiful as I'd ever imagined.

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   Taking my hands, she knelt, drawing me down to kneeling beside her. We were so close. "Watch," she said again. She turned toward Bret. He'd moved a little closer and now she was between his legs which were apart. She reached up and undid his zipper, then the button of his pants. Then she pushed his underpants down exposing his cock, which she immediately kissed, then took just the head in her mouth for just a second. Then she was back to me, breathing in my ear. "Want to see me suck it?" she whispered. I was so confused. It was absolutely sexy seeing Jenny doing this, but quite obviously I was very uneasy about the whole thing. What was Jenny up to? Why was she doing this? She leaned forward and took his cock in her mouth again, this time spending a little time on it.

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"Like seeing that?" she said, turning back to me. Then she reached out to my crotch, quickly establishing for that I'd grown a bit hard. She grinned, then half turned so she could smile at me, picked up his cock with her hand and got her mouth around the tip of it again.

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   I saw just a tiny bit of her tongue on it, then she dropped it. Then she whispered in my ear again. "Watch closely. " She drew me closer. She lifted it and kissed it. Then she put her hand on my crotch again, this time for more than a moment. As she did so, she came close again and whispered. "Kiss it. " "No," I said, voiced but softly. "Yes," she whispered. Her hand slowly worked my cock through my pants. "Just a touch of a kiss, for me. " "I can't," I whispered. She took my hand and put it on her own crotch. "Please," she whispered, "I need to see it.

 

  " She leaned closer, her breast against me. Her body, it felt as if she were about to tremble with desire. "For me, please," she whispered, sounding as if she were begging. I felt her hand at the back of my head. She pressed, pushed me gently toward his cock. "I need it," she whispered. She sounded like she might come any second. I hadn't resisted her hand and I found myself closer to his cock. She leaned forward again, softly putting her lips on it. "It's easy, just a touch," she said. I can't say how I let it happen. They way she whispered in my ear, her steady pressure on my head. I'd allowed myself to be maneuvered so close. "Just a touch," she repeated. I felt my lips touch it just as she'd asked.

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   She didn't let up pressing on my head. My lips still on it, she lifted it so my lips were on the tip. She pressed it against my lips. "Just a little bit more," she whispered. I felt the tip of it, between my lips. "Relax, everything's fine," she said. It invaded my mouth. "Yes, now suck just a little," she said. I wanted to say something, to protest, but obviously I wasn't in position to. I needed to pull away, to resist her, to ignore her entreaties and simply get away. To tell her I couldn't do this. "Just a little bit of sucking," she whispered. "Good," she added. I felt her shift so she was behind me and she pressed her body against my back. "Just a little harder, feel it grow," she said close to my ear.

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   I felt her rub herself against my back. I felt more hands on my head, Bret's. Jenny's arms came around me and started unbuttoning my shirt. "Oh God I love this," said Jenny, hoarsely. My shirt undone, she undid my pants and pushed them down. Then she slipped on hand pressing against my rear in the crack, and with the other she grabbed my cock. "Suck it, for real!" she said, just a little louder. "Harder, make it hard. " It did grow harder. "I want to see, I want to see!" she said, still keeping her voice down. "Make it grow with your mouth. " Then, suddenly, pushing me off his cock, she captured it in her own mouth. Immediately her cheeks sunk and she slid her lips forward and backward over it. Then she pulled free and put it back in my mouth. "Hard, suck it hard," she said, again in my ear, her voice sounding almost strained.

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   Then she withdrew her hands, but soon I realized she'd undone her own pants as I felt skin against my rear. She ground her crotch into me. Bret's hands held my head firmly and he started sliding his cock in and own of my mouth with his own motion. "Take it," she said, "take it and suck!" She still ground herself into my rear. "Please, please, I want to see!" He came. There was no way I could avoid taking it into my mouth, he held me so firmly. "Swallow!" said Jenny. "Yes!" she said when I complied. It's hard to say exactly what happened then. She pulled me to the floor and somehow had me flat on my back and was on me sixty-nine fashion. She sucked me hard and lowered her crotch to my mouth at the same time. Distracted as I was, I still licked, seemly by instinct though it was my first time. I was coming in moments and Jenny if anything seemed ahead of me. We lay there, Jenny partially on me, supporting none of her weight herself. She breathed heavily as did I.

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   As I recovered, the impact of what had just happened hit me, with Bret I mean. She seemed to recover at the same time and sat up. "Up on the bed," she said and I felt myself drawn up again. She kicked off her pants and pushed mine off my feet. On the bed she had me lie on my stomach. "Now just relax," she said, then started putting something on my rear. Bret had stood and was getting undressed. "No!" I said, startled, this time resisting her and sitting up. "It'll be fine. You'll love it," she said. "Jenny, no, I swear. . . " Her smile was so alluring. But I knew where her lures led and despite the "reward" she'd given me I knew I'd better stop it at that moment.

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   "Come on and lie down," she said, "I swear you'll like it. Here, you want to see him do me first?" She lay herself, faced down and started putting lubricant on her own anus. "Once you see me you'll want it," she said. Bret circled the bed so he stood above her, then taking lubricant, put some on his cock. As I was dressing, as fast as I could, he was in her. If anything it drove her insane, she moaned and gasped, seemingly forgetting I was there and anything else but what Bret was doing to her. And I left that room even as I knew I might wait just a couple of seconds and see her practically pass out with pleasure. I could still hear them as I went downstairs, and since I'd carried my shoes down I still had to hear her as I quickly tried to get them on. I left quickly, walking as fast as I could back to the dorm. Once again when I arrived early for class, Brenda wasn't there which was particularly odd since we had a test that day. I simply sat and did some reading and reviewing. Later I looked up to find Jenny grinning at me. I hadn't seen her since that night. She sat down right next to me and pressing up against me whispered: "Let's go into town tonight. " "No!" I said, keeping my voice down.

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   She drew away to a more respectable distance and opening her book said, "I need to review a couple of things. " She still smiled as she said it. My efforts to review after that were fruitless and though she looked like she was making progress she soon stopped and turned to me again. "Have you found anything about Phil?" I looked at her, confused. She whispered, "does he like me?" I have to admit that the Phil thing had slipped my mind entirely and of all the things she might have said, that was about the last thing I expected. She smiled again and I still had this feeling she was reading my mind the whole time. "You know, I might like going out with you if it weren't that you're gay. " Somehow she managed to push her body against mine just a little while she said it. I could think of no reply that would do any good. She went back to her studying. I didn't see Brenda until the other class had gotten out and some of us were waiting at the door for our chance to get in. Brenda's and my eyes met for the barest moment, but after that I sensed she was avoiding my gaze. Also, I was sure I saw tears in her eyes. .