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Diary of an American Housewife

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2004-04-28

Diary of an American Housewife
'Puttin' on a little?" and the friendly pat on my butt from husband. Encouraging words as he was out the door to work?
He had no understanding at all of the life of an American Housewife. What would Housewives do without TV, vacuums, dishes, clothes washers and delivery boys . . . and house pets? Boredom-boredom and more boredom!!!!
If it weren't for the little distractions of cleaning vacuum bags and cat litter trays and gathering dog droppings in the yard there would be little excitement in my life.
So-I decided to start a diary. Someone might read it someday. Then they would know about the one-quarter of the population that stays at home, works at home, gets bored at home and tries to find some escape from the home humdrum.
I mean, I have a good life. After husband and children were off to work and school, I had a whole day to myself-my duties, that is. Picking-up (the one things husbands and children were brain-dead about) and washing/ironing and cleaning and dishes and dinner-plans and that, without clever planning, took the whole day, day after day after day. But I needed the detached reflection a diary might give and it might be entertaining. Where to begin. . .

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Day One: Dear Diary-
Again. . . Dear Diary- I'm Marvene; I'm 36 years old; I'm an ordinary hard-working and much bored housewife in the usual housewife rut and with your help, maybe I can get out of the humdrum and have a little excitement telling you of my days and my story to this date even though I'm not that old and from day to day when something happens.
This one was like the other days. About a pat on my butt and an observation as husband left the family nest for another day which he surely thought was dull; but he was out driving to the office and selecting a place for lunch. Even if he went to the same place he COULD go somewhere else anytime he wanted or take a bag lunch-yuck. But I mean he had lots of choices. I didn't.
(diaries usually begin that way, don't they? I've never written one but I knew that much from schoolbooks. It's like writing to a confidential friend. ) And he could go somewhere after work if he wanted and blame it on a traffic janL. . I didn't know if he did but he COULD. And what could I do, in home, cleaning, washing and the rest.

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   Those were the choices for me-An American Housewife!
I looked into our back yard. The dog was resting under the tree. Smart to stay in the shade and while I was sweating inside already so I took off my housecoat. There was no one around to see anyway. We American Housewives tend to relax a little in our domain and to get creative. After all-housewife-wife to the house-married to the house is more like it . . . if we weren't innovative what were we.
Today, Diary-
I went to my room and got ready for my shower. The water was good and cooled me down but when I got out I was like radiating all over from the water. I put on my light dress and went back to my magazine and the end of the exercise video-bend down, touch your toes-I tried it and it made the backs of my legs sore but I touched my toes. The dog was watching and stopped licking as I went up and down, giving him a free show up naked my legs and bottom.
Funny, dog,s eyes. I don't know if they see things but they look like they do.

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   He licked his lips as he watched and I felt funny and stopped and sat on the couch with my magazine. It was a story about a secretary that I was reading. She was a non-housewife-type of girl and thought she was a hot thing. I used to think of myself as hot and then got married.
I read the story and started fantasizing about the girl in the story, which is what we readers are supposed to do but the story was doing it to me and I finally put it down feeling funny reading it and getting hot about some fiction of a girl at the office crossing her legs and
making the guy look at her from across the room and checking her legs and the crack between and he came over and said something to her that made her blush. Then I started to blush but it was from my imagination and my hands feeling along my dress.
The guy in the story met the secretary after work and they had a drink across the street and she said she had a crush on him and he felt uneasy because he was married but wanted her-on him and she wanted him-in her and the drinks took away their resistance. They arranged to meet later and set up a fake doctor's appointment on the same days and went to a hotel . . . and . . well. . .

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   you know the rest, diary. That's where the story ended but it left me up in the air and feeling my dress.
 
I raised my dress and felt all over my naked legs. I went into my bedroom and found my vibrator, in the bottom drawer, at the back and under the sheets where no one but me would look and went back to the couch. The dog was watching me, licking himself with his long, long tongue.
I laid my head back and continued feeling over my legs and my crack and dipped a figure inside, just checking, diary, but I knew what I would find. It felt good there and I had all day if I wanted to wait that long which I didn't! It was quiet, except for the TV and I switched it to Mute and listened to some birds in the garden and felt myself all over and back and forth. I was being patient. I knew what I was doing and opened my eyes to watch the dog, with eager eyes, looking at me and he seemed curious as to my movements, which were getting faster and making me start to twitch. This is when I started to hope there would be no interruptions and no telephone ringing and that I could just feel and bring myself to the edge.
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His name was Barry and he and his wife were our own age and had been to our house for barbecues several times and we had visited them also. We were friends but not close and I had fantasized about him because he seemed so strong. When he handed me the saw I noticed for the first time how big were his hands and started thinking about that old wife's tale-you know about the large size of a man's dick if he had large hands. It made me go wet all of a sudden and I had to sit down and say: @Help yourself. "
I knew my face was even redder than it had been.

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   @It's hot outside. " I was making light conversation but I felt very vulnerable with him standing there at the refrigerator, his back turned, and I could watch him move without getting caught. But he caught me looking and smiled. @It's hotter in here than it is outside. " It was a tone of voice he had that made me wonder if he guessed what I was feeling and then we walked into the living room.
Now I was mortified. There on our couch was my vibrator and it was plugged in, too! Maybe he wouldn't notice but of course, he did notice and smiled at me with a knowing look and sat on the couch. I sat so the vibrator was at least on the other side of me from where he sat.
@My wife thinks that's the greatest invention of all time-better than a hair dryer!" I didn't-couldn't-say anything. 'Is that why your cheeks are red? Now I know what housewives do in the morning while we men are at work. " He wasn't being mean, and said it in a light tone.
'Well, now you know,' I said, wondering where this conversation was going.
"Can I watch you use it?" . . .

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  "I think I'd better get dressed and do my shopping as soon as you're finished with your drink. ' He took me by the wrist, '6Can't shopping wait for a minute?" I just sat there. *Come on, I won't do anything, just watch. I've always wondered if you were as hot as you look. My wife and I even talked about how pretty you are. She thinks you have a great figure. But you know what they say-good on the looks and cool inside. ' He reached across me and grabbed the vibrator. "My wife likes it when I watch her use it and she wouldn't mind at all. She would probably even be jealous if she knewwhich she won't. " I felt strange with this good-looking man holding my wrist and holding my vibrator and then he turned it on and I thought, dear diary, '6Why not? But just for a minute and then he would have to leave. "
I took hold of it. "Let me switch it on for you. " It began to hum and I could feel the sound, if that's possible, all through me. I was still hot and getting
hotter, just with the thought of what was happening at that moment.

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   I lifted my dress and put it underneath so he could hear it and see my movements but couldn't actually see me. That was as much as I was willing to do and just for a minute or two but then he kissed me and I put it right between my legs and spread them a little so it was on me and intense and I couldn't help myself and kissed him back and felt him lifting my dress to my waist and he could see I was naked and maybe even see I was really wet and I let myself go and enjoyed it. I was so embarrassed and that made me even more hot and then he put his hands on me and spread me open all the time he was kissing me and I was kissing back in earnest and then I couldn't even kiss him and was breathing air into my mouth. I was some other place, in outer space and climbing my mountain and my hips lifted to that vibrator and I felt his hand go under me and his skin was warm on mine and I was so hot, hot!
He played with me and whispered in my ear how wet I was and he liked that a lot and I was limp and resting and cool between my legs and just lying there. He didn't try anything else but I wanted to see and feel his cock in my hands and inside me and was afraid to say anything. I just couldn't. I was exhausted and how could I look at his wife at our next barbecue. I just laid there with my eyes closed, naked from the waist down and relaxed, very relaxed and noticed how quiet it was when he kissed me and quietly closed the door on his way out.
So now you know why I missed writing the rest of the story until just now and it made me hot just telling you what happened. So I'll close for now and will write again soon, about less exciting things probably, but you never know.
Diary 3:
 
I had gotten mine when my shoulders were very sore and at the same time I was in the appliance section of our department store. The pictures on the box showed a woman using it on her back and so I got it. It was cheap. One of the best buys in my life! When I got it home, I put it on my back and shoulders and it was relaxing but not any more than a hot shower. It laid in the drawer for more than a year when one of my magazine stories had a character who was laughing about vibrators when the other character in the story mentioned them as being as good as a man but you didn't have to wash and cook for it.

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   It got me to thinking.
Of course, I'd heard giggles about '6sex toys" but that was girl giggles and nonsense. Then the story and the giggles I remembered and I said to myself-when I have a private moment I might just give it a try.
Then I got busy on a school project for my daughter-we were building a kind of toy box for the kindergarten kids at a day care center and we were driving to get wood and nails and cutting the pieces and making a real toy box, painting it and it took all my spare time. That project was finished and I had more time to myself during the day.
I wanted to be sure to have some time alone and planned ahead, doing all my washing and cleaning on Monday, Tuesday was My day. The children and husband all out of the house, a little coffee and the early morning news and then I was in for a shower and my lightest housecoat. Back to the kitchen and even a glass of white wine, some music and a quiet mood. I sat and watched outside as a bird flew into the tree and our dog rested in the shade. I had another swallow and began to relax. I wondered if I was being silly, having time alone but I needed this. Finally, I got up and went into the closet-which is where I had tossed the vibrator. It wasn't until later that I felt like hiding it in the drawer.
It had different little knobs and I put on the simplest one, shaped like a thumb, and returned to the living room couch. I had another swallow of wine and started to feel mellow, laying my head back and stretching my legs.

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   My housecoat fell open and I touched my thighs with both hands. They were cool and smooth and my hands made me tingle at my crotch. Maybe I'd just forget my new toy and feel myself and make myself come on my fingers like I always had. I was already a little wet and my finger slipped along my lips easily. I loosened my housecoat some
more and started that nice motion along my lips, fingers spreading, finger dipping and slipping and feeling myself up and I almost lost myself and stopped to have more wine and sat up. I had my plan and I was going to do it.
It's strange, Diary, but I felt guilty or naughty or something like, "I shouldn't be doing this. Doing what? It's my body and I'm just dealing with boredom. Right?" But I was afraid of getting caught. All of it made it more exciting, I guess but I hesitated before switching it on.
It felt good in my hand but I went right to work on myself. That thumb made my skin tingle wherever I put it along my thighs. I closed my eyes and listened to the humming and moved it up and down and all over and just enjoyed the sensations. I moved it through my hairs and along each side and down and back up. My body started responding on its own and I didn't really think what I was doing after awhile as it moved along the lines of my flesh, down one side and the other and then, between and along my lips.

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   I put one hand holding myself open and
with the other worked myself. My feelings told it where to stop but I took it away in a didn't want this to be over quickly, slowly, playing, in hand down to pull the vibrator over move and, eventually few seconds. I
week for this time and wanted it to last but then I put it back there where I wanted, needed, it, to. . . . . . beeee. And, Oh! Was it wonderful right there. It made my hips move and I could feel my lips embrace the thumb and quiver and respond. I knew I was really, really wet and it felt so good, like nothing I had ever felt. Then I had to rest and turned it off and lay there breathing hard, my head light with the wine and how intense I had felt.
Diary 4:
This was a day for my reawakening. I felt better about myself in some way because of my experience.

 

   I'd never do anything like that but it happened and opened my feelings about myself. Up to that time I was a homebody, a housewife doing house things-washing, cleaning, cooking, and things like that and I was definitely loyal to my family and my husband; had missionary style sex, in bed, at night, at the appointed hour, didn't give blow-jobs, didn't play golf, didn't watch sports. I was about as ordinary a bored housewife as there was. So by accident Barry had
opened me up-in a way taken away another layer of virginity and I felt a new sense of freedom or abandon; I felt empowered to act against boredom with my mind and body. I still went quickly back inside when I got a glimpse of Barry but determined to be out.
I was wearing my new dress, with a bright blue and yellow pattern; with my hair up and my gold neck chain. I looked cool, or so I thought. I walked to our market to do a little shopping and just get out for the first time since my 'visitor. ' I felt self-conscious even days later and one or two men seemed to look at me at the market. Goodlooking men with good hands! I leaned over to pick some vegetables from the back and could see they were looking at my legs-one of best features. My dress was a length where inquiring eyes got a good idea of my shape when I leaned out. I didn't wear stockings-not for a trip to the market in mid-day and only thin cotton panties meant they could enjoy the body movement in each of my steps as I went further down the aisle.
 
I wasn't feeling housewife-ish just then and more the "wanton woman" but I felt a sense of release from boredom and I liked that. That was what it was all about at least for a few hours of the day before I returned to my usual duties. I wondered what would be the next bit of exploration for my liberation.

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Dear Diary-
'I thought a lot about knocking but couldn't help it. ' don't stand out there in the sun," I said. He came in. 'Would you like something . . . to drink, I mean. " We both laughed. I mean, I think I knew what he wanted but couldn't say and he felt exactly the same: ME, MY BODY AND ME! Or was it HIM, HIS BODY AND HIM? I got him a beer and poured myself some wine. No one would be home for hours, yet. I had the air-conditioning on and it was cool inside. The sound of the air-conditioner shut out the other noises from the street and made it private for us for whatever we wanted to make of privacy.
"You know I've been married over five years. We have a good marriage. " I nodded.

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   "But not exciting . . . I mean. . . we love each other an all but it's a kiss at the door and
smile at dinner and a hug in bed and sleep and then we're off to work and another kiss, smile and hug. Not exciting but happy. "
I nodded: "Me, too. " We sipped our drinks and walked into the living room. (the vibrator was gone, of course, but its memory lingered in both our minds) 'Nothing happened, right?" I think that was true so why did his saying that make me hot? I guess I'd been hot, off and on, for no particular reason, almost all the time since that day.
" I love my husband, too," I said, "He's good to me but we do the same kiss, smile and hug, a lot. "
'Have you had a nice day? It's been hot and business is slow so I took the afternoon off but I had something else in mind, obviously. I don't have to be home for
hours. "
It wasn't long before I found out my next liberating step but it took me completely by surprise.

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   Guess who came knocking at my door? Again! None other than, you guessed it: Barry. I should have known. The one guy I had been avoiding. He had the same thoughts and was afraid to see me or have me see him. I saw Barry yesterday morning but he didn't see me! I went right back inside and waited. When I went back out the coast was clear. I was still getting used to being out and about and was ready to be seen by everybody, including Barry, but not that early in the morning. Well, Diary@ another day, but it's been awhile since I wrote. Things settled down though I thought about Barry and our few moments together. I was red-faced every time I did. I even went to the market in a different way so I wouldn't drive by his house. It was silly but I didn't know what to say or do when I saw him next, as I knew I would. We even were planning another barbecue at the end of the month but that's a week off and so I can make whatever adjustment and steel myself to act natural as though nothing happened. Really, he did just kiss me and watch and it could have been a lot worse for my plan to pretend nothing happened. I was lucky in one way but I was curious about what could have been every time I thought about it.

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   I hadn't used my vibrator since and kept it in its bottom drawer where it belonged, What did housewives do before they had vibrators? sorry. I missed finishing my diary entry yesterday. But I had a reason. Just as I was starting to build and get good and intense, wouldn't you know, the doorbell rang. It was one of our neighbors who works around the corner at the hardware store. He was returning a handsaw he had borrowed. He was friendly but I think he noticed my face was flushed from my 'excitement. ' @You look like you've been working at something," he said. If he only knew how close I was when he had arrived. 'Would you like a drink or something. . . ' is all I could think of saying at the moment. I don't know why I said that. I guess I was nervous but now you will know why I didn't finish my story to you yesterday.

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   I'm skipping the vacuuming . . . no one will notice . . . and sitting down to read my magazine that came yesterday . . . some good stories and lots of advertisements and, use the remote to listen to some TV with these people full of advice and stories. There was a woman today who had done one of these weight loss videos and showed parts of it . . . women dancing around and jumping up and down in their leotards. Letting off their sexual energy, I thought.

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   We housewives have to find some way to release it; I know I did. Innovation? No where more innovative then ways to release the primal urges. The dog came inside a moment ago-there must have been too much sun for him even in the shade-so he was sitting there watching me and licking himself. "Can I fix you a sandwich?" I went into the kitchen to cool off. He followed me and I got out some bread and cheeses and handed Barry another beer. I shouldn't have. I should have asked him to leave. I should have not let him in the first place. I shouldn't but I did and he came up from behind and hugged me and I leaned against him and he pressed his hands around my front and I spread my legs as he cupped his fingers into me. I was wet and I knew he felt it. I held on to the counter as he pulled me back, lifting my dress and pulling off my panties. Maybe it was the wine, maybe I had thought about this and imagined it and didn't know how I would react and I just let him, let him make me naked, let him feel me all over and let him put his finger inside me and then two fingers and I leaned over as he pulled out and I heard his zipper and felt his flesh against me.
I reached under and felt his long cock and balls and stroked him to my lips, just parting them. Holding the kitchen counter, I waited, it seemed a long wait, I was very hot and my lips were around the tip of him. He slid into me easily and very deeply.

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   Then I could feel his balls pressing against me and I lifted myself on him as he hit against me, again and then again and I was lost in my own kitchen with the air-conditioning fan and the quiet of his thrusting and bringing me against his long cock until my knees went weak and he held me up, my weak legs held around his thighs as he pressed me against the counter and I felt I was completely naked, open and filled with him and wet down my thighs and breathless as his movements slowed and I knew he had come, too, and was slowing and cooling and slipping out of me. He kissed my neck and smiled and hugged. This was different, this was exciting. Beautiful the way our bodies were in unison of movement and coming together with more hugs and
kisses and breathings and then, he was gone and I had to hurry and clean up and get rid of the beer cans and drink the wine I had left in the glass.
And I had to go sit on the couch and wonder what further liberations were in store for me. I felt ready for the next episode and turned on the TV to cool down, picked up that old magazine and looked at some of the other stories. If they only knew of my story! It was too hot to read the mag. My dog sat there, licking and looking at me. He seemed to know. I sat and just turned the pages and cooled off.
I must have fallen asleep because I awoke as the door
sprang open to the sound to my two children, delighted to
tell of the important events at school, how one friend was
sent to the vice-principal for being rude to the teacher
and another who caught her hand in the door and went to the
school nurse. Not to mention the "loads and loads of homework" which meant to their rooms and time for me to start dinner, which I did, still in a glow from my 'dull' day.
'Hi! Honey!" and a smile, kiss and hug and back to the salad makings. Then dinner and 'How was work?" 'Okay" and 'How was your day?" 'Okay. .

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  . " and then television and bed and a smile/hug/kiss and I lay there thinking, dreaming, getting a little wet and turning over so I would not get an errant squeeze and questions . . . How would I explain that? I blushed under the sheets and got more wet and a little scared from my exciting day. I decided to put a stop to it. It was wrong. I should be a 'good little housewife" but I felt very naughty and excited. You know, diary. Maybe there were more diaries before therapy was popular. A diary was an understanding friend; and would never tell the secrets but I got hot even just writing to my diary.
To be honest, Barry's cock was very hard and long and made me come extra good. Knowing it was wrong and a secret made me come even more intensely. And I wanted him again. So much for my promises but I had to wait.

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   Maybe he wouldn't visit me when I was alone and I'd have to settle for having my dreams. I heard my husband, next to me, in his deep, 'I'm asleep" breathing and put my hands down to feel myself. I wanted to come again right there with him asleep beside me but I didn't dare!
Next morning when I awoke, my hands were still holding myself, and what dreams I had, of many things and boys and girls and . . . I better not say what else. I had to get up and help everyone else off to their day and I couldn't put off vacuuming another day so they were off-smiling, kissing, hugging, and I was doing my obedient housewifery things.
There weren't that many clothes, ironing and dishes and I finished early and took a nap. I needed a rest what with all my nocturnal dreaming which had tired me out. The pillow felt soft and I was soon drifting off. I couldn't keep him out of mind, Barry, and couldn't keep my hands away from myself and then my fingers were at work again.
I saw us, in the kitchen, like it wasn't me. It was me as a third person and watching. And I watched as he put his arms at my waist, lifted my dress, felt all my wet flesh. .

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  .
And then, I remembered, it was a long time ago when I didn't understand things as well. I had been on my way home from school and full of the usual stories, waiting to tell of the vice-principal and the school nurse and that sort of thing when one of the boys, Steve, came up and started walking along with me. He asked if was going to the school dance and asked me to go with him. It wasn't my first date, that was too scary to enjoy with all the fussing at home and the new dress and shoes and not knowing what to say on a date and whether he would try to kiss mehe did but I didn't kiss back.
This would be the first real dance where I felt comfortable except, until he asked, I had no one to go with. So now I was going, with him, and he was cute and I was looking forward to this one. He asked if we could walk down by the river bank near our home so I went with him. He said we should get to know each other a little before the dance and then we could enjoy it more-it seemed okay to me at the time.
We walked through some of the bushes and bent down to get under some of the brush to where the water came up close to where we were walking. 'Let's sit down for a little. " I did. I was a warm day and we both wore lightweight clothing. Steve took hold of my hand when we sat down. 'I've been wanting to ask you to the dance for a long time but I was afraid you would say 'No.

 

  ' I'm glad someone else didn't ask because you're the cutest girl in class. " I wondered if I should believe him but it seemed okay. I was cute and had a pretty body that was filling
out as nice as some of the girls and better than most. He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back.
We sat on the grass by the bank and listened to the trees rustling in the wind. @How many dances have you been to?" he asked. "Last year I went to my first dance and this is the second. I was real nervous the first time. I didn't know what I should wear and what he would do. I mean I went with David. " 'I know Dave. He's okay. "
'I like him but not that way, I mean, well you know. "
Steve nodded and leaned back on the grass, still holding my hand. I sort of felt like lying back with him but didn't.

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   Then I did and looked up at the sky and the clouds. Steve said: 'Could you ever like me, that way?" said I didn't know. He said, *Would you try, at least until after we go to the dance. " I looked at him and he smiled and gave me a hug. 'You're really nice. " I blushed, I think, and he squeezed my hand and reached to kiss me. I pulled back. I wasn't ready for that and didn't know what would happen next but he held me to his face and kissed me. His lips were nice and I was wrong, I know, but I kissed him back and then he kissed me again and we kissed and kissed for a long time by the river bank and I couldn't hear any wind in the trees and could only feel his lips. He put his tongue in my mouth and I started to sit up but he pulled me back and then I opened my mouth to him. It felt crazy having his tongue slipping in my mouth and he licked my lips then and I felt my body start to tingle.
I put my tongue around his and he held me tight and I got scared and sat up and said 'I've got to go. I'll see you in school tomorrow. " And straightened my hair and dress and bent over for my books and walked or almost ran home and went straight to my room when I got home. All my feelings were new to me and I felt uncomfortable and maybe wouldn't go to the dance with Steve.

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   He might try something again. And, too, I felt cool between my legs and looked at myself and put my fingers there and was slippery wet. It felt good when I touched myself so I stopped and started doing my homework. I couldn't pay attention to my work but kept at it and finally got it done but the teacher said I must have been daydreaming and made me do it over!
But about the dance. I saw Steve at school the next day even I did try to avoid him a little and we came to face during lunch break. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it," he said. 'You kiss good. " I just looked down and felt that feeling again. 'You want to eat together?' So we walked to one of the benches and had our
lunch. "You're not mad, are you?" "Just eat your lunch, Steve!" I said it in a tone of voice that let him know how I felt-if confused is the word for how I felt or maybe a little scared but excited, you know Diary. I didn't know what it was then but he was the first boy that made me feel excited when I was near him, or even thinking about him.
I'm glad I saw Steve the very next day even if I didn't look him in the face. I felt nervous around him but it was a good nervous. My Mom and I went shopping after school and I got a nice dress for the dance and shoes.

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   So I was going after all. We got home and it was dinner and homework but I couldn't concentrate. All I saw was Steve and his mouth and lips and could almost feel his hands holding me and the warmth of his body and it was hard to do homework when all that was happening.
Then I took a shower and got in bed and looked at the ceiling for a long time and saw Steve and his face and body and hands holding me and his mouth on mine and licked inside my mouth and kind of pretended it was him and promised I wouldn't let him do that because I knew it was dirty and wrong and I was being bad to let him or want him and I wouldn't anymore. I promised myself do any of that again. I was too young and he was being forward and assuming a lot about me and he was very much wrong about me. I didn't want to be "that kind" of girl whether it was exciting or not.
I kept looking at the ceiling. My nightie was very silky and I started touching it and watching Steve. He was cute and his lips were soft on mine and I outlined the shape of my body under the nightie. I had a nice shape and it relaxed me, feeling over my skin. I closed my eyes but he was till there and I imagined he was naked.
I'd never seen a boy naked but I'd seen statues and knew what they looked like except this particular naked boy was Steve! and he was kissing me and making my body feel good. It was okay to do this in my own room. The door was closed and the light out and it was just a dream.

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I reached out to him and he took a step and held me. His skin was against me and his hands were all over and lifting my clothing, feeling me and licking my lips. I felt my fingers on my skin and I was slippery again and it was exciting to touch and feel myself. I looked to be sure my door was shut and lifted my leg and put my finger inside and stroked my body and was very wet and turned on my side, leaving my hand there and went to sleep feeling very warm.
Well, Diary, I'm telling you more about what happened years ago to this American Housewife. I hope you don't
mind. I had some good times in school before I started being bored and dull and I like telling you so. . .
Finally we got to the day of the dance. I lost my appetite. Steve seemed so relaxed at school but all the other girls and I could talk about was getting ready for the dance and what we were all wearing and we decided we wouldn't get there on time, we would be nonchalant and arrive a little later. At least that's what we said. What we did, what I did, was different than planned. In fact, I almost didn't get to the dance at all!
Steve picked me up on time and there was all the fussing to get ready and to meet my parents and to say 'Don't be home too late.

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  ' And all that and then we were off. I could see he had washed his car and waxed it. I sat next to the door. He looked at me when he closed the door and smiled and got in and we drove off. "You don't want to get there when it starts, do you?" He was reading my mind. 'Come on, sit over here, next to me. " I slid over and was right next to him. I could feel his warmth through my dress. Then he put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. "I know a good place we can go and just sit in the car and talk and then we can go to the dance and be a little late. " "Okay. " I didn't know what was going to happen but it was a good idea to be a little late. It was like telling everyone we had been to lots and lots of dances and didn't need to be on time as there would be plenty of time at the dance even if we weren't the first ones there.
So Steve and I drove along and then we turned off and down a road and were beside the river again. Near where we had been before when he was putting his tongue in my mouth! Except this time we were in his car and kind of private.

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Now was the time for me to remember my promise to myself. When I sat close to him it was hard to keep thinking my clean thoughts so I didn't sit as close as I might. But then he put his arm around me and it felt warm and I couldn't help but cuddle a little and feel good about being there and it was pretty, the river, the trees, the car, his arm and leg against me.
'I know we shouldn't but I like you and you're pretty. " And I began to weaken. He kissed my neck and ear and breathed on me and turned my face to his. "I love you. " I'd never heard anyone say that to me-not from a boy to me! Then he kissed me and I couldn't do anything about it and kissed him and then our tongues were touching and I felt I was getting slippery wet again and didn't know what to do and then sat up again and moved near my door. This was too much for me. The trouble was I liked it and liked him and liked the kissing and getting wet was wonderful and meant I was growing up with strong feelings. I bet the other girls didn't know anything
about feeling like that and I felt proud of myself even if I'd broken my promise so quickly and then he took my hand and I slid right back and we were kissing and kissing and he was breathing on me.
I realized I was breathing hard and my chest was heaving up and down and he kissed my neck and ears and tried to kiss outside my breasts and unbuttoned me and moved my breast to his mouth and all I could do was lean back and let him and enjoy it and worry about what he might do next and I let him feel both my breasts. His kissing was so good. He kissed my mouth and told me my nipples were hard. They were very sensitive and I didn't want him to stop but he had to stop and I pushed his face away and told him 'No.

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  " and said 'No' again and he kept kissing me just the same as I squirmed on the seat and then he pushed me down.
I really said 'No!" then but his hands were on me and were I was making them slippery and moving my bottom the more slippery I got. I lost track of where he was or his mouth or hands and pushed at his head with both his hands and felt his stiff cock on my hand and it was wet too and then . . . he hurt . . . bad but it was too late and it was my fault because I lifted myself up just as he plunged into me but it hurt and I grabbed him around the waist and pushed at him and held him and pushed him away and then just held and hoped he wouldn't leave me he was too deep inside to leave and it was hot and wet and good and I held him to me to try to get him to stop moving inside. It felt too good and I couldn't stand it anymore and had to rest a little.
I was sweating and hurting and feeling hot all at the same time and
We were late to the dance because we had to clean up and cool down and tell each other we were in love and all that. That was the dance I remember most. I don't remember dancing or much else except someone spiked the punch and that bowl was empty before anyone knew. I was sore for a few days and Steve and his family moved to Chicago the next month so we wrote and made promises we couldn't keep but I thought about him a lot for a long time until I met someone else. I had to pretend with him that I didn't know about things and all but we never got serious or into feelings and then were other boys, some who made me horny and some who had bad breath and some who were just fools.

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   I never got to know Steve very well after that night and I wondered what might have happened to us if he hadn't moved.
 
For awhile, everyone I dated had to be compared to Steve and since he had been a surprise and beautiful the other guys weren't surprising even though a few were cute. It was the same old "You're beautiful" and then hands on your breasts and under your dress without any surprises at all and some were more exciting than others but there was Steve and whatever was in second or third place and then I went on a sexual fast. I was tired of all the boys wanting me for sex and I got serious in my studies and didn't go 'parking' anymore.
Maybe I needed a rest. I don't know. But I needed some perspective which I got but I sure felt horny in the meantime and would get wet just looking at some fine guy and when they looked back I had to keep my promises and get back to studying.
After I graduated it was different, looking for a job and meeting different people; listening to the girl talk and getting old enough to drink and go to bars where people hung around and told lies about each other. Mainly the guys told lies: About how pretty I was or I had a good figure when what they really meant was AI want to feel you and have sex"-not necessarily in that order.
It was the first time I really heard girls talk unendingly about themselves and their 'boyfriends" and even some about girlfriends. One or two of the girls admitting have sex with girls as well as with boys. It was amazing to me because I'd heard about it but not from soneone who had actually done it and I wondered if they were just lying to make themselves seem adventurous or important or to shock some of us.
I worked with one of the girls, Harriet, and she told some really wild stories one night so the next day I got brave. 'Harriet, some of things you told us last night were incredible. Were you just joking with us or what?' "I wasn't joking, Marvene, and I didn't believe what I had done either.

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   Maybe I had too much to drink. But then the next day I realized how good it was so I saw her again and did it a second time. What do they say: Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. "
Harriet and I talked a lot after that and became friends. She did most of the talking and I listened a lot. I invited her to my apartment for dinner one night and we had a bottle of wine and an Irish coffee and another one after that and all the time Harriet we telling me her 'sex chronicles,' including about the time she was with another girl, at her apartment, having dinner and wine and getting sexy with her in an accidental way and Harriet reached and took my hand and put it on her breast. I laughed. I was nervous . . . and felt her breast. She lifted her sweater, no bra, and put my hand on her skin. I was still nervous but her breast was soft and her nipple was suddenly hard. "Kiss my nipple, Marvene," as she took my head and put it on her and I couldn't believe myself but I was kissing her breast and licking her nipple just like Steve had kissed mine. I knew how good it felt when done a certain way and that's what I did to Harriet as she stroked my hair and cuddled my ears, now, with both her hands and said how good it felt and I started to relax and get into it with a girl for the first time!
 
I was so surprised at myself and how making her nipple hard with my tongue was exciting me too.

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   Then I wanted to tell her to stop feeling my ears and neck and was going to and started thinking that was the way Steve had licked my breasts and he must have enjoyed it, too, because I was enjoying it and it was a role reversal then with me being like a guy, the other side of the coin. And then I kissed her other breast after she removed her sweater and leaned back and held me too her and told me it felt good and y mouth was soft and I heard my words to Steve before the dance and I had said things like that and it made him lick me more like I was licking Harriet's breasts and feeling and holding them to my mouth and I didn't want her encouragement any longer and then she put my hand under her dress and up her legs and I could feel how wet she was and the I really wanted this and to make her come and have her under my control and make her squirm.
She was already squirming as I licked and slid down further and spread her legs completely open. "Kiss me there!" Which is what I wanted to do anyway and to taste a woman and lick her spend and feel it on my face and I found her clit which was hard and felt her hands on my face, spreading her lips open to my tongue. It didn't take long for Harriet to start moving her hips and get desperate and out of breath and she started telling me how good I was and how hot she was and clutched me to her and held tight and almost smothered me. When I came up for air she said: "That was good; that was the best!" And it made me feel good inside and then I realized I was very wet and hot too. It wasn't just Harriet so I was embarrassed at breathing hard. 'your face is red Marvene. Are you as hot as you look. Sit up here and let's see. "
Then it was her turn to take charge. I couldn't even get my clothes off before she was under my dress with her hands and mouth and I guess I was coming so quick I couldn't believe it and she knew just where to touch and I saw Steve again and wished Harriet had a long stiff cock but this was the next best things and I smothered her what with wrapping my legs around her delicious tongue and face.
After that we just lay there and held each other. Later I made some coffee without liquor. We had had enough excitement.

 

  
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