Erotic
2003-10-28

I loved my fiancée very much. We were great together, complimenting each other's strengths and some areas and helping each other to make-up for our shortcomings in others. We'd had our own trials and tribulations to overcome along the way but we were well on our way to getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. Overall I'd say that we were well on our way to a very happy future together but I still had a problem nagging me in the back of my mind: passion, or more correctly the lack of it. Don't get me wrong, Alexandra and I had sex a pretty fair amount but it seemed to lack passion. At least once a week we would find the time for me to eat her out and then I would slide my cock into her, pump her for a few minutes and then shoot my load up inside her. Sometimes she would suck me off (definitely a point in her favor was she was the only girl who had figured out how to make me cum with anything other than her pussy), swallowing my load when I came in her mouth. She wasn't too good to be dirty, I think she just didn't know how. I knew this was a problem for me when I found my thoughts occasionally straying back to my previous girlfriend Liz, the lying, cheating, gold-digging slut that she was. I'm not sure if I ever really loved her (although much to my own disappointment in myself I told her that I did) but God did we have some passion. Liz wasn't exactly pretty; ok she was really only occasionally cute. Liz was a large woman but for whatever the reason I didn't matter how tired I was or how bad I might've been feeling, she could almost always make me get it up. When we would go at it (generally at least once a day, if not two or three times), there was almost nothing that she wouldn't do. Liz would masturbate for me (I love to watch women masturbate) using her fingers, vegetables, or toys; making a real show out of it for, usually licking her own juices from whatever she used. She'd suck on me letting me cum in her mouth or on her breasts. She started shaving her pussy so I could eat her out easier because I loved to do it so much.

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  We'd fuck in any position we could get into, at almost any chance we got, in any location that we thought we had a chance of getting away with. If we were separated we'd still get together for nightly phone or cyber sex. We found that we enjoyed the thrill of the possibility of getting caught would bring to us, and not just by our roommates. I don't know if I loved Liz, but I loved fucking her and this was becoming a bigger problem every day. Alex and I discussed sex on occasion, not that anything ever really came from those discussions. One night I nervously revealed the first layer of my perversions. I gave her the details of some of my sexual fantasies: how I liked the hint of danger, to be teased in public, how much I liked to watch women masturbate, my semi fascination with anal sex, and, of course, that I would love to know that my girl would fool around with another girl (and hopefully me at the same time). I summed it all up by telling her that I liked a girl who behaved like a slut, without actually sleeping around. Not that, to probably anyone who would read this, these are major perversions, but they were still difficult to tell her none the less as I was unsure how she would respond to them. Thankfully she smiled at me and told me that those were all things that she would be willing to do. Alex then proceeded to tell me that she had a fantasy of having sex in a skybox of the stadium of a local college team. She also told me that she used to masturbate but it was more for relaxation so she could sleep rather than pleasure and she told me that she had indeed had a lesbian experience. Of course nothing came of this conversation other than some serious though from myself on these matter. To be fair I should provide an evaluation of myself and to be honest I'm sure I hadn't really measured up to all of Alex's sexual desires either. She never tells me that the sex is bad and she at least always seems to enjoy it but still, I'm pretty sure that she feels something is missing as well.

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   I don't feel like I have hardly any time anymore between work, maintaining the apartment, keeping up with friends, TV, and the requisite computer gaming. Of course this means that sex has become a hurried thing to me, which means that I spend almost no time on foreplay anymore. I can be romantic at times but I generally feel that romance needs to be unique and that it also requires time and money (neither of which did I feel like I have enough of). So, of course, Alex wasn't getting much in the way of romance in her life.

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I realize now that I had become very centered on my own satisfaction physically and didn't pay enough attention to her physical needs (which I also realize now is more than just getting her off). It is small wonder that physical intimacy was not very satisfying for either of us, unfortunately the road to this realization was long for me. It should have been a warning bell to me when I was still masturbating more than I was having sex with Alex. I was usually pretty horny in the mornings but Alex and myself also didn't like to get up any earlier than we had to in-order to make it to work or class on time, which didn't leave much time for foreplay, which generally meant: no sex. Eventually I just gave up trying and after getting up in the morning I would get myself off quickly before heading to work. This had the benefit of making it so I could concentrate at work, the downside was I wasn't very horny at night. I was usually tired enough by the time I got home from work that I didn't have the energy to devote to a good fuck session and I wasn't horny enough to make up for my fatigue. We fell into a pattern consisting of usually one decent romp a week and maybe a couple more good attempts during the times in between. Deep down I could feel the lack of passion but I didn't do anything about it, I just continued to let it slip. I think my first realization that something was needed to change was that when Alex was going down on me I would nearly call out Liz's name. This was the spark that ignited the search for understanding, but what really brought me the revelation was something that happened later.

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  True understanding of the problem eluded me for the longest time until I got lost in fantasy one morning while conducting my now routine pre-work masturbation. I had been reading some storied off the net and listening to the sounds of a woman bringing herself to orgasm. My mind began to wander as I played with myself thinking back to my college days. At first touching my early sexual experiences in college, which consisted almost entirely of having a cute girl tease me to distraction for several hours before being sent home to satisfy myself. I thought of the hours long sessions in the nights, playing with myself until I ached, before I finally let go and achieved the release that I needed so bad. I thought of the eventual emptiness I felt as my friends got into relationships and moved on with their lives while I was left alone and miserable, wallowing in my own self-pity. Of course, these thoughts eventually brought to mind Liz. There was another that I had desired at the time but she was not willing, whereas Liz was more than willing. She was another person that I could hold onto in what were dark days for myself, someone I could hold onto or, as was often the case, stick my cock into. All this passed through my mind quickly and I began to think about the time that I had spent with my cock buried inside of Liz's slippery pussy. I sped up my stroking now as I relived some of the more erotic memories of her in my mind, eventually settling on the strongest of those: the first time we had taken a chance and fucked in a public place. I say fucked because that's what it was, something that at the time we both needed. We had gone a few days without having sex and we were both horny as hell. If Liz had actually looked decent I would have fucked her on central campus in the middle of the day, but she didn't, and it wasn't the middle of the day anyway. What we did do was get together in one of the student lounges in the dorm.

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  When met in the lounge and without exchanging any words we fell onto one of the sofas and started a heated make-out session. It didn't take long for me to have her shirt hiked up so I could suck on her hard nipples and her hand had found it's way into my pants to squeeze my hard cock. There were a couple of other students in the lounge, two foreign students, one sleeping not too far away and the other was studying back in a secluded corner, so what did I care about them for? Short answer was, I didn't. The student sleeping near us stirred somewhat, Liz got worried that he was waking up and pulled down her shirt. I stood up, didn't bother to zip up my fly, but pulled Liz after me. I ducked into a little area that was mostly walled off but still partly open to the main room threw Liz against a wall, started sucking on her neck and shoved a hand into her pants. My fingers quickly found her slit, which felt like it would have burst into flames if it had not been for the abundant lubrication that poured from her. Roughly, I shoved two, then three, then four fingers into her juicy cunt, while I rubbed her clit with my thumb. Liz was now using her own hand as a gag to keep her moans from echoing throughout the dorm. I tugged at one of her nipples with the other hand as I licked my way up to and then around her ear. "I wanna fuck your hot cunt you fucking ho," I rasped into her ear before sucking on her lobe again.

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I pulled my fingers from her, bringing them to my lips, and began to lick them clean one at a time, which she watched while panting for breath. I had cleaned two of the fingers before she grabbed my hand and sucked the fingers into her own mouth, treating them as expertly as she did my cock. She sucked them longer than was necessary just to clean them before releasing them from her oral embrace. "Do you wanna fuck me?" I asked.

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  Looking up at me with her most innocent gaze she reached out her hand into my pants and wrapped her fingers around my cock again. She nodded and in her sweetest voice said "Uh-huh. ""Good, then suck my cock first. " By this point she didn't need any further invitation that. She pulled my cock out my fly as we switched positions now with me against the wall. Falling to her knees she smoothly engulfed my cock in her mouth, taking me as deeply as she could, and a little deeper than even her usual enthusiasm accounted for. I wanted to shove my cock all the way into her mouth, feel my balls against her chin and her nose buried in my pubic hair. Unfortunately she never did figure out how to take me all the way down so I knew I needed something that would take all of me and that would be that juicy cunt of hers. I slid my cock from her lips and when I looked down at her I saw that she had slipped a hand into her own pants and was playing with her clit. She gave me a pouty look for having taken away her favorite toy but brightened when I pulled her to her feet and, after tucking my cock back in, pulled her out into a hallway with me. We stumbled down the hallway, trying to figure out where we could find some release at until we found the bathrooms. She went into the women's bathroom first but came back out to say that the stalls wouldn't be big enough to fuck in. I ducked into the men's bathroom and once I saw no one was in there I pulled her in, comfortable or not, this girl was gonna get my dick inside her. One of the stalls was a larger handicapped stall so we utilized that one for our purposes and it worked quite nicely. I pulled her pants down before the door was even closed and began fingering her again, but she quickly got into another position and I buried my face in her snatch, lapping up those flavorful juices.

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  She came quickly at my tongue-lashing and now all I cared about was my own pleasure. She turned around and bent over, without waiting for any further signal I rammed my cock up into her and began to pound away. I pumped into her with such force, as I'm surprised that I didn't hurt her, but then again she was in an altered state as well. For having such lust built up inside me I lasted an incredibly long time, but certainly not forever. I felt the pressure begin to increase in my balls as cum built up inside them pushing me towards release and making me pump even harder. Just as I was about to release my control and give myself over to the pleasure trying to escape from my core I slipped my dick out of her. "I want to cum in your mouth," I moaned. With a shiver of lust she quickly turned around and had just barely gotten her mouth on my cock-head when I started to shoot my load into her mouth. In my present masturbation the memory of that moment made me begin shooting my load all over myself. It almost seemed to me that my orgasm was endless; that I had shot a gallon of cum on my stomach and chest, some of it arced even far enough to catch my hair. It had been a long time since I had cum so hard that I simply fell nearly lifeless as I did then, completely satisfied in my pleasure. My mind began to drift in my afterglow to places it had not been in a while, namely to Liz. Would she still take me back after the mean way in which I wound up breaking-up with her? Would she still let me fuck her any way I wanted? My mind lounged in the gloriously depraved thoughts of rekindling that relationship and the pleasures of the flesh that would ensue. I suddenly felt a stab of pain in my heart. 'That's not very fair to Alex,' I thought to myself, 'she's been a lot better to me than Liz was.

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   I love Alex, so why do I want Liz?'It seemed that another part of my mind answered the first, 'It's not Liz that you want, what you want is the passion, the sheer, unbridled lust that you felt. You want to desire for the person you're with the way you desire the air to breathe and you want them to desire you just as much. You want them to make you know that they want you that much, that's what made sex with Liz so passionate was that you desired each other's bodies. 'Suddenly it did all make sense. I wanted fire and passion, who doesn't after all? Who did I want it with? That didn't matter. Yes it did, I wanted it with Alex and I wanted her to want it too. How can I make sex with Alex even better than it was with Liz? Suddenly I realized how late I already was for work, I jumped up and began to clean myself up and work on the plan that would help change my sex life with Alex forever. .