Teen
2010-06-07

It was because of that, neither of us wanted to feel all embarrassed about admitting that it could be nice for boys to let their feelings show sometimes. For both of us, this seemed like an opportunity to consider that feelings of a more personal nature between boys could and did naturally exist. That it did not somehow automatically show a preference to be like that with all boys in general, instead of with girl.
We both smiled and let our bare toes rub together.
In itself daring and suggestive. But to do it deliberately, which we were, felt wonderful.
We looked at one another, with my blue eyes meeting Jason's deep brown eyes, the contact communicating the warm chemistry between us. Slowly we both leaned toward each other, our slightly parted lips touching. At first, gently, then more purposefully. Right then, it just seemed like the thing to do. The sensation was no different from kissing a girl. It was exactly the same. Only doing it with another boy again seemed far more deliberate and therefore special in its own unique way. Jason's lips felt incredible soft and warm and smooth, and I could feel them moving ever so slightly against mine, urging me to respond until there was a sensation of shared wetness. We could have stopped right there, but we continued our oral embrace. It was such a luxury to enjoy.

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When we finally did pull back, we both grinned, looking slightly surprised by our daring, and by how good it felt.
Indulgently, we put our lips back together.
Our hands found their way around behind each others shoulders.
The moment was quite passionate. More than either of us expected or anticipated. There we were. . . kissing and finding ourselves making out. It felt so satisfying and emotionally rewarding to enjoy this as friends, and just as boys. It was a new and exciting experience, and yet it was almost disappointingly ordinary, like something that any two friends could be indulgent of.
A lot of things went through my mind.
I thought of once seeing my mother kissing her best friend.
It had hardly been a completely passionate kiss, although it it been quite full and on the lips.
They hadn't known that I had seen them.

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They had been in the kitchen, and her friend was leaving after coffee. It was a parting kiss. A very friendly one, with implied intimacy. Their hands resting on each others waist, and their lips firmly together. I remember being maybe not being entirely shocked. Girls and women were allowed that sort of affectionate freedom. But I had been kind of surprised. I had never seen my mother kissing another woman on the lips. I had wondered if my mother was maybe a lesbian. Then, when I thought about it, I realized that she wasn't, of course. She liked men. Yet, it made me realize that perhaps she enjoyed having a slightly bisexual side, especially now that she and my father were divorced. Maybe it felt safe for her, being like that with another woman. That she simply did not feel like becoming involved in a serious male-female relationship with all of the complications.
I never said anything to mother about that.

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Now I found myself wondering about it again, and deciding that I knew what it was like.
As my lips continued to press against Jason's, and I felt the satisfying enjoyment of being able to do this with another boy, if just simply because I felt like it, and felt like doing that as friends, I wondered what my mother would think if she saw me right then.
My thoughts returned to Jason.
No, I considered, there was nothing wrong when it was between two boys.
.