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2010-09-30

I got to know Dave from seeing him in the park close to where we both lived. We got to recognize each other, and give an acknowledging nod when we passed. Then, we started saying "hi," and finally stopped to talk. He was in his early twenties, about my age. Good looking, with sandy-blond hair, trim, and very casual in his demeanor. The two of us seemed to have a good bit in common in just the everyday sense, and I suppose that was why we felt a kind of friendliness starting between us. I don't know, there was just this kind of attractive chemistry that we both seemed to like, without really saying as much.
I had never found myself noticing of other guys before. Yet, with Dave, it seemed easy and okay to be just a little bit. He usually wore shorts and sandals, which I thought looked good on him. Enough, that I started to venture out in shorts on occasion as well as sandals. Something that he seemed to notice and like. It was as if we both thought it was maybe a little sexy in just a guy's way that we could both appreciate. Like I said, I had never found myself particularly noticing of other guys, and I certainly had never considered entertaining thoughts that were homosexually suggestive, let alone gay. Still, I was kind of feeling less than enthusiastic about my female relationships, which seemed complicated and troublesome, and I supposed that I longed for something that could be easier and fun and interesting, and wanted a change. Without being overly consciously aware of it, I found myself slightly drawn toward the pleasant male chemistry that there seemed to be between me and Dave.

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   And I kind of suspected that it was the same for him.
One Saturday he invited me over to his apartment for a coffee. I agreed and we walked over to his place. We went inside and he started making some coffee. While we waited for it to brew, he said that we could take off our sandals and be comfortable if we felt like it. He took his off, so I went ahead and took mine off as well. We carried our mugs of coffee into the living room. His place was nice and it was easy to feel relaxed. It was also nice to be carelessly barefoot like that. Although not intentional, there was a nakedness about it that was sensuous and sexy that seemed to promote a desire to be less inhibited. We got talking about nothing in particular, just about life in general, about how life could be better and should be better. That sort of thing. We also agreed how nice it was to get together.
I don't know. Maybe we were both feeling a little self-consciously aware of the chemistry between the two of us.

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   We sort of laughed and said how it sounded like we were finally having a "date" or something. It was funny and kind of embarrassing. Maybe because we were both barefoot and that was sexy. Although neither of seemed too inclined to be overly concerned about how it would look. Especially since, as he pointed out, there was no one there to see us and think anything just because two guys were sitting there having a mug of coffee and relaxing together and enjoying each others company.
    Anyway, was there a law saying that we had to worry about that sort of thing? Or that it had to mean that we were gay?
    I think we both sort of liked the idea of being a little defiant of social mores. Without actually saying as much, suggestively implying that there could be moments of homosexual friendship without the world ending. Even, that two guys being casual lovers might be something worth enjoying when permitted. That it could be a pleasant change and distraction from the ordinary everyday pace of life.
    We sort of teasing joked about if this was what two guys did on a "date," and laughingly agreed that it probably was more than just having coffee. It was silly and fun and nice all at the same time. We laughed some more, and wondered if it started with kissing, and concluded that would probably be a reasonable start. Then what? Slipping into bed together just for the sheer pleasure and enjoyment of it?
    It was not an unattractive thought.
    Slowly, we tried a small kiss.
    It felt nice.

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       Not awkward. Just nice. Very relaxed and easy. A very agreeable thing to do.
    We tried another one, letting our lips gently press together, inviting a warmth that was wonderful to feel.
    Again, it was not at all awkward, but thoroughly nice.
    Dave smiled and asked if slipping into bed was the next thing that we should do.
    We got up and headed for his bedroom.
    .

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