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2006-09-07

My husband and I planned to go dancing, it was our anniversary. I wanted to look great. I bought a very short black dress, which besides being short, offered my breasts up to god. My friend went with me shopping (Remind me to thank Marie again, *NOTE THE SARCASM*) I got my hair done, then my nails, and finally my make-up. My husband hadn’t seen me since I left this morning. I told him I was writing and I needed to get away from the house. That was five hours ago. I took one last look in the car-mirror, my pale face was framed by bouncy curls in my mid-back dark-cherry colored hair. The makeup on my green eyes was dark, and my lipstick the same color as my hair. I looked great, and to top it all off I was wearing 3 inch heels. (To use afterwards if you catch my drift)I was as ready as I was going to be when I pulled in the driveway. So I got out of the car, and went inside. I dropped my purse so I bent over to pick it up. I heard, a soft noise, and I looked up to find my husband reading a letter from a yellow envelope. I knew that envelope like the back of my hand. It was our fertility test which I had hidden, with good reason, in my filing cabinet under trash.

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   It said he was sterile, but I was as fertile as the ground. He thought it was the total opposite. I don’t think I can describe the look of anguish on his face. His auburn hair, still was  wet from the shower, and his Green eyes glistened with unshed tears. When he finally looked up the tears were streaming down. He said something and it took me a minute to realize it wasn’t a dream. He said it again this time I could hear him.
         
“When were you going to tell me about this?” his expression was pained and stiff.
          My answer stumbled out before I can stop myself. It’s funny that two words can just make, or break a person’s heart.
 “I wasn’t. ” I wanted to kick myself, I wanted to rewind the conversation but I knew I couldn’t.
          A look of perplexment came over his face.
“You. .

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  . you weren’t going to tell me?”
“I thought it would be better. ” I said bluntly.
He raised his voice. “Better for who? Who were you thinking about?”
“You!” I interrupted, I was getting flustered.
“Me! ME! You think I wanted to be told lies?”
          I could not understand why he was reacting this way; I was saving him from the pain I had gone through. “I don’t know what to tell you. ”
          He was moving closer to me, his face rapidly turning red. He flung the folder at me. I’m sorry was on my mind, but that’s not what came out.
“It’s not my fault. ” I was in total shock because of what I said. He backed me up against the wall. He clenched his fist.
“NOT YOUR FAULT?” he was screaming.

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“I didn’t mean that. ” Now I know it’s pathetic, but I was trying to save myself.
“THEN WHY DID YOU SAY IT?”
“I was mad, I didn’t mean it. I was trying to save you, and me from this. ” I said pointing from me to him for dramatic emphasis.
“ONCE AGAIN THINKING OF YOURSELF, AND BY THE WAY THERE WOULDN’T BE THIS IF YOU TOLD ME THE FUCKING TRUTH IN THE FIRST PLACE. ” I didn’t know what to do. If he was cursing and screaming then there was a serious problem.
           He punched. . . the wall, and backed off. I went over to hug him. He threw me off, grabbed his keys and fled. I heard his tires screeching as he flew out of the driveway.

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   I couldn’t stand it anymore. I reached for my pocketbook and stumbled across the number of my ex boyfriend, at this moment I don’t think I could have said no to arsenic. Before I knew it, I was at his house. The mailbox and the front gates seemed all too familiar. I rang the bell. The gates opened, and my car pulled ever so gently into the garage. The door opened before I got there and Dan’s masculine figure stood before me. He rushed out towards me as if to welcome me, but stopped dead in his tracks. His face turned from pure joy to bewilderment. He reached for my face apparently wiping a tear, I had not even been aware that I was crying. He cradled me in his arms and brought me inside.
          Once we were inside his house I explained to him what had happened and he was infuriated. He wanted to find Nick and wring his neck. I told him no, that it was my battle and he respected that. He lifted my head with his hand, and made me look at his face.

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   His black hair was chin length with a couple strands dangling into his face which framed his eyes, oh how those ice blue eyes made me melt. Our heads went in to kiss. I couldn’t do this. I walked into the bedroom just as if it were my own, and sat down on the bed. He came in and sat down beside me.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. ” he said as he turned to look at me.
“You weren’t the only one in that room who almost did. ” I said unable to return the gaze.
The problem was, we both wanted it, but neither was ready to receive it. I burst into tears.
“What is wrong with me, how come every relationship I have ends up this way, with me over at your house crying my eyes out. ”
“I’m glad it ends this way, so I can comfort you. ” he said innocently.
He reached for my face again, and brought it to his.

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   I leaned in and kissed him back. He leaned back.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he said almost surely I would say no.
“Yes. ” I said as he once again pulled me closer. I turned the kiss into more than it should have been. He backed up to look at me, and held my face in his hands. He looked for a minute, and must have been happy with what he found because he put his hand to his pants. He started to unbutton them. Then came the zipper very slowly, unsure. He pulled them down to reveal his striped boxers, legs, and calves. I started to pull off my shirt, showing my black bra, then I looked at him filled with insecurity.
    He loomed on top of me. He moved closer, my face only inches away from his. He was awaiting a kiss.

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       When he did not move I returned the kiss, full on, no avoiding it. It turned into a marathon of tongue massaging and suddenly I felt better. I continued undressing. My insecurity was now gone and the emotion that filled me now was unbridled passion. We were totally bare, quivering and filled with anticipation. He leaned in to kiss me. As he approached me I felt the soft moonlight illuminate my chest in the familiar room. He put his manhood so close to me that it made me shiver. He looked at me once again, in the same unsure way, so I backed away. He got a look of discouragement on his face, but I gave him my best seductive smile, and he looked at me questionably. I got off the bed, and motioned for him to lie down, he complied quickly. I straddled him, but did not let him enter. I offered him my soul in that kiss. I fed at his mouth, and he did the same, I broke the kiss, and put my finger under his jaw line to move his head to one side.   His tender sensitive neck was very warm when I placed my lips to it, I nibbled gently, and I could feel that a now firm appendage was against my leg.

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       I worked my way down, kissing, and nibbling across his nipple, chest, stomach, then his thigh, totally ignoring the part of him that he so desperately wanted me to touch. Down to his toes, and then on to the other foot, up his calve, thigh, stomach, chest, nipple, and  then the neck. When I came up to his mouth I was straddling him again. I gave him his kiss, and I plunged him as far as he could go and immediately, I could tell that this was no going to be any ‘Did I leave the coffee pot on’ sex. I didn’t really think as I bounced on top of him. I freed myself from my bra, and bent down further to kiss him again. He pushed me back, and down. Then he got off the bed, and motioned for me to turn to face him. I did a 180, and he wound up at the end of the bed. He entered me, and I wrapped my legs around him, right above the spill of his firm ass. I could tell that it would be soon for me, and apparently it would be soon for him too, his breathing changed into a heavy pant, and finally I ground my hips into him. I could feel him let go, and so did I. The orgasm made me stop the rhythm and just lie there pulsating to one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.
     Which left me with one question, how come something so wrong feels so right?
             
    When I woke up it was around three. I knew I would not be able to fall back asleep, there anyway.

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       So, I gathered my clothes and decided to head on home. When I got there, I noticed candles were lit, dripping into their dishes, and rose petals were strewn throughout the house. They smelled delicious like candy, and looked even better. I headed very quietly up to the bedroom. I opened the door and peered in, there I saw Nick lying on the bed asleep, propped up on the pillow. I snuggled in close to him and moved him to a more comfortable position. I knew this was where I was meant to be.

     

     
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